It happened quickly; unusually maybe
that’s why it was called Falling into love!!! The day before you were not in love,
the world was different. The next day it was different and everything changed
swiftly. You notice the small hairs sprouting out, the perfect matching shirt
for your trousers, fitting of your suit. For the first time in your life you will
notice that black dot near to your eyes and how smooth is your skin when
shaved.
You will walk away through the
crowded city center behind her, feeling the breeze on her untied hair. You will
enjoy everything around the world. How it
can be so beautiful, you think. When she looks at you, you have lovely butterflies
tickling your stomach and a shiver running down from your tip to toe enveloping
your smiles. You forget the language you've known from your childhood. You will become the small Kindergarten guy
standing in front of that beautiful miss. You will talk unplanned things and
you will forget the prepared speech. Before you know, you will feel like you've known her all your life. You know the way she breathes in her sleep, the brown
strands of hair that always falls on her face by the table fan breeze, the way
she rests her head over her arms crossed when asleep , the way her lips wets in
happiness. You start to take her ride home for granted. You no longer notice
the way your fingers naturally touches her belly when you sit together. How she fits inside your arms around her
shoulders. . It’s usual, likely, ordinary even, like the act of brushing your
teeth. You believe loving someone simply exists and all you do- like anyone else- is
natural.
But falling out of love is the
hardest part- the worst reaction, with a rock star style. One day, she’s
sleeping next to you, and the next day, you see her quarreling at you for
something unimportant, one that you did not pick out. One day, she’s in the park
with her arms on yours, telling you about your first kid and the next day,
she’s speaking about the incompatibility between you and her. One day, she is walking beside you with her
hair strands on your face, telling about the place to visit after marriage, the
next day she will talk about her wedding date fixed with another guy. And she will
tell you of the sari she picked out for her wedding.
When you are back to your room,
your own life, you will notice, your shirt will no longer smells like her, your bed
sheets no longer know her, your pillow will never ever be shared with her.
You’re missing the fragrance in your life. You feel empty even when nothing
else is changed. You try to fall out of it- just like she did- but you can’t
find a way to climb out of the ditch you've landed in. You try, fail and give
up, without realizing that getting out of there is normal, that it will happen
naturally. Like the way you grew out of pampers and become a man.
You’re a victim, kidnapped by a dream
and destroyed by selfishness. Instead of running away from her, you love more
and more. You will mourn about your lose. Your room smells of the vomit and mixed drinks.
You will feel her touch as the water hits every inch of your body in the
shower. You will turn back for a most wanted lip lock. The empty bathroom will
shatter you. In a month, you will wake up one day and realize about the years
of real beautiful world you missed. In a month, you will call your friends
again and plan for outings. You forget that falling out of love mission and it
happens naturally. Then she will become just a smile on the corners of your
lips during a cocktail party. Then you will realize you loved simply because
you don’t know what else to do.
